If I could be anyone
Well, that’s a list to fill
There are many who are accomplished:
Athletes
Writers
Business
Finance
Literature
Military
Small business owner
All so different. More to explore.
Tell me who to be
So that I’m yours.
Unreachable
I want to forget
But this liquor is like a
Cable to unreachable
memories
Absolve my sanity
I’ve cried myself to sleep
For weeks and weeks and weeks
Can I turn the other cheek
And whelve my self-critique?
Our Mizpah morphed into a
Tacenda; so
Let’s bury our agenda.
Absolve our formality
Deject rationality
forget the mutuality.
We’ve ended the cyclicality.
Please…
This fatality….
I’ve lost all sanity.
Send me your words?
Beyond time and reason;
My words commited treason.
This fight is empty, as is my brain.
Please send me some words
To write away this pain.
#myheartjustshattered #bestfriendshurtmore #anotherfriendoutthedoor #whydoitry
#mendontdatemoms #cryingonthefloor
Instincts
instinct – daily prompt
Crackling coals lick my chest as the rage simmers to a slow boil
Palapatations echo thunderous words against my fragile heart
Run.
Like icicles shimmering; transcendent and captivating.
Run, my love. Run.
His eyes. Oh my god those eyes. A trail of danger down his chizled nose to a mouth full of lucious curiousity. Those lips smoldering my mind’s cries.
Within I hear the fear;
He’s going to drive you mad. Run, my dear! You must not fall or you’ll be consumed by tears!
Instinctively, I move with him. Our bodies dancing like a perfectly orchestrated ryhme. Breath for breath, touch for touch, thought for thought;
We destroy each others hearts
I do not.
Reflected back into my own, is a face I do not own.
I do not do this. I do not want. I do not make a fool of myself. I do not want.
I do not stare. I do not care. I do glare. I do not want. I do not long for you to see– more than just a physical me.
I do not hear the heartless thoughts as they spit venom while we walk. I do not listen as you speak, I do no not glimpse from beneath your sheet.
I do not feel the breath of your soul as it tangles with my own. I do not cry when you say goodbye. I do not smile when your lips brush mine. I do not want. I do not leave. I do not care. I do not see.
I do not hear unspoken words about how I’m not good enough outside of closed doors. I do not watch each step you take, I do not wait, I do not watch. I do not want.
I do not want. I will not want. I could not want. Why would I want. What do I even want!?
What does it mean,
if only you could see, the truth of me–of everything–
What it could mean for someone like you
to want someone like me?
I do not want. I do not see. I do not feel. I do not plead….. All these lies I want to believe.
Broken like me
He hit stop on everything that got too close- his edges still smoldering in the seams. If ever a person were to see within that smoke, he did not know what they’d see. For he poured himself into the basin of wretched cracks and scars–
He had loved so many women, but only for the scars. If ever a woman pursued him, by grace they would receive: a kiss of death in tender cuddles that fueled his egoistic scheme.
Smoke rises from his breath to the women that he sees. Fire never saw such beauty, and fire is what he needs. Silky smooth, rounded cusps, naked to his needs. Flowing fibers gleamed like embers and her face was his to touch. He longed to be inside her, consumed or combust.
The fire spread throughout his heart and wrapped him up in silk.
She laced him up in velvet twine and lit a match to the line.
When I found him,
Still wrapped in twine, and
smoldering ashes beneath blue eyes.
The match burnt within himself,
He started to spindle a new
Velvet
Twine.
Oh reckless heart of mine
There’s no peace for these bloodshot eyes. passed the dark hours by the rattles of my cage. Oh, this reckless heart of mine;
Oh this reckless beast. Between its grip were the metal bars, pushing and pulling my chest and it’s fists, they were tattered and bruised. Flailing to bend the bar, move the bar, anything to just make the damn bar move from its place. This reckless beast, oh, it screamed bloody hell for the key.
It has seized my breath between its broken nails, grinning sweetly before suffocation overtook me.
This reckless heart of mine, oh you damn heart of mine.. you bartered promises in vain… for if I opened this cage; youd run through the snowy rain, jump every rock, climb every tree, and close the miles between my solider and me.
Explaining love
While talking to a friend today, she asked how I knew.. how I knew that I was in love with you.
She asked if it was because I would do anything for you, but I just smiled. After a moment I looked at her and said,”
It’s so much more than that… It’s like an extension of yourself. You move together as one, speak differently, you build each other up… When you love someone you become a better person because they motivate you to want to be better than who you are.
It’s knowing that no matter what is going on in your life that they will always be there. They are the person who will tell you when your wrong and the person who’ll bow down when you’re right.
It’s like finding that empty aching feeling that always in the back of your mind. It’s knowing that you can truly be yourself without having to think about it all.”
In2Lauren 